A Conversation on What is a Genuine Prayer

Like every kid, I believe childhood understanding of prayer, worship, and religious rituals was from indoctrination from the culture and unknowingly passed on with good intentions by the family members, belief systems, priests, and my teachers.

When I was a kid, I visited one of the wealthiest temples in India with my parents yearly to worship in the presence of the idol of the deity. My grandmother never visited any places of worship. She used to live in the village and was loving and kind to everyone, but she had a lot of sarcasm for the priests. She was a widow, and it was taboo for widows to participate in worship in those days. But I was always curious to know the answer when I used to visit her. But I never dared ask her. My siblings and I grew up in a multicultural city, so we discarded many cultural beliefs over time. We used to insist that she at least participate in the religious functions and festivities at home. She would always smile and let it go. When I was fifteen of age, one day, I asked her to answer as to why she felt so strongly against it.

Her answer was stunningly simple and intellectual. She took the example of the deity of the wealthiest temple in India. Instead of answering me, she asked, “Why do you think so many people flock to that temple and not to others, and why the temple in this village is in shambles when the deity is the same in all the places?”

I thought momentarily and said, “Maybe that deity is more powerful than the others.”

She laughed benignly and said, “No.” She continued, “Because the devotees focus more on that idol out of their own belief. It is their energy. With time, more people flock to it, and paradoxically, they believe it is more powerful. The consequence is crowds surge, as do more donations to that temple. Who is responsible for the idols of the same deity in other temples to sink? History witnessed thousands of idols being disfigured, and many languish in Britain and museums worldwide. So, who gave the power to that idol and made the temple the wealthiest while the others languish?”

I said, “It’s the people..”

She asked, “There you go… now you see the connection. People have the power that comes from deep within, not the image, priests, or rituals. It is their devotion, their belief that creates their energy to be there.”

I loudly objected, “That consecrated deity has the power.”

She smiled and caressed my head lovingly and responded, “Consecrated? Do you believe the people who made the idol and the priests who installed it with some mumbo jumbo invocations and rituals gave it power? Without waiting for my answer, she replied, Your belief, my child, makes it a deity for you; for me, it is an idol even if it is beautifully decorated with rare gems, gold, and silks. With places of worship, the priests and the politicians benefit from power over the people.

I got rattled and asked, “Are you an atheist?”

My granny burst into unrestrained laughter and brought a volley of questions, “How does it matter? Do you know anything more? Do you understand what the priests are chanting in an ancient dead language nobody understands?”

I blurted out, “There are stories of the glory of the deity in ancient sacred scriptures. And the chants have sacred powers. They are true.”

She said, “Your answer is in what you said just now. What do you mean they are true? The scriptures are ancient, and the chants are in ancient language, so do they qualify as sacred? It is sacred because you believe, and the religious people do not want you to question the same. They want you to follow mindlessly. Ancient does not necessarily mean they are eternal or have stood the test of time. Humans make idols, and even if they say the idol is self-manifested, it can never guide you to the reality of existence. A person who externalizes would be on the wrong path and cannot be awakened because it is blind faith. Even if it’s a thousand-foot idol, it cannot represent even an iota of the true nature of existence.”

She continued, “Human language, communication methods, and organized religions seem just a few thousand years old, so these stories cannot be timeless. If you understand the chants, you will know they were written by the ancestors of the land who were in awe or fear of nature.”

I felt my grandmother was warming up and enjoying all the attention she got from me. She was in her full flow, “People don’t live in isolation. They always live in groups.” She exclaimed, “I believe the people who realized the vulnerability of fellow tribe members made the first symbols of worship, and they tasted power for the first time. They wielded enormous influence on the people’s minds in the group.” She continued, “The tribal heads saw an opportunity to have a bigger hold on the group, so they started patronizing the worship. Priesthood, politics, and lies became institutions.”

I was stunned by her knowledge and logic. I blurted out, “You studied only till the sixth standard, that too in our native language. How do you know? Are you sure? And you have not answered my earlier question, “Are you an atheist?”

With a disarming smile, she said, “So many questions in this tiny head!” She resumed, “You know I read many books, and you are aware that I used to hide the books written by freedom fighters in earthen pots and hid them in the soil when the British Indian soldiers came in search of literature on freedom during the independence struggle.”

I know that because she preserved and shared a few of those banned books of her time, written in Telugu, with us.

After a deep pause, she asked, “What is real freedom?” “And how does it matter? Do I have to believe in something, or otherwise, what is wrong with being an atheist?” she stoically said, “No proof, no belief, until then.”

I protested, saying, “Although you never went to a place of worship nor participated in rituals, I saw you sitting with closed eyes for long hours. It seemed like meditation. You are stone-walling me by seeming to be an atheist.”

Granny said you want to know what I think: “For me, it is simple. People can make something out of which that is already there. They cannot make something out of nothing.” She continued, “With science, even if they can make something out of nothing, they can never wholly understand or replicate the creator.” She concluded, “Our minds cannot create an idol or a symbol with the material, knowledge, or imagination we have, for we do not know of that which is immeasurable. And so all religions, dead or thriving, and spirituality are just beliefs.”

I said, “Then why do you have to sit for hours together as if in meditation.”

With a smile as if to tease me, Granny said, “I will let you in on my secret. Don’t tell anyone. I sleep sitting in a relaxed, meditative pose. People think I’m meditating and don’t disturb me.”

I moaned, “Seriously!”

She earnestly asked, “Without anyone instructing you when you are before the deity, what do you feel and do?”

I said, “I close my eyes and pray.”

She asked, “My dear believer, the deity you worship is there before you in all his regalia, with mesmerizing settings and chantings. In that daily rush to glimpse the deity, you get twenty seconds to watch him. You closed your eyes in such a situation!”

I said, “Yes. To focus and pray in silence from within.”

She said, “Even in those surging and pushing crowds, you wanted to snatch a moment of being alone with it, and you instinctively closed your eyes.”

I got angry at her, “Now you don’t have to point fingers at me. Everyone does the same.”

She grinned, took my hand, and while caressing it, said, “Closing your eyes and looking within is the only way.” That is what you instinctively did there. The only pilgrimage you have to take is within.”

I got curious and asked, “How so?”

She resumed, “The experience of all the objects, feelings, thoughts, and imagination ultimately resides within.”

I asked, “Can you elaborate?”

She said, “In deep sleep, or when I’m dead, I cannot experience anything so that which allows my mind to experience is within.” “So the real prayer can happen only within and not otherwise.”

I was curious, “You mean the God is within and not outside.”

She replied, “I didn’t say that. I meant that there cannot be idol worship for a real knower of the self. Prayer happens by itself within. Understand this: the creation and the creator are inseparable. You don’t need a creator. Creation itself is enough.”

I said, “Then who created the universe.”

She knowingly continued, “If we answer that as God created the Universe, it would be a recursive question. Then who made God? If you say God is eternal, why can’t we stop at what we already agree in Science — the boundless space, the Big Bang, the creation of matter, the galaxies, and our solar system? Creation is the creator, and that itself can be eternal.”

She persisted, “One cannot know everything with that immaculate brain of ours. One thing is sure: assuming that the creator made us in its image and is a male or female is arrogant. It is not going to reveal itself in any dramatic way.”

Then she revealed, “The only real experience anyone can have is wonder at the mystic grandeur and scale of existence. And that can happen to you only because of your life-consciousness. You are the mind. Your body, life, and consciousness belong to nature.”

I protested, “I’m the body, mind, and soul. And I possess so many things, and people belong to me, like the way I love you.”

She smiled, “As you grow older, you will understand. The truth is nothing belongs to anyone, and everything belongs to everyone. The social norm we created for ourselves is flawed; look at the trees, the animals, and their natural habitat, and you will understand.”

I said, “We are deviating from the subject.”

She said, “Yes, we departed from our topic of genuine prayer. Suppose you sit silently with your eyes closed and withdraw yourself from the senses by not giving importance to them. Then you realize you are continuously drifting in thoughts. If you do not lend any significance to the thoughts, allow them to come and go and observe them as witnesses. You realize your awareness and thoughts are in a neutral, calm, and serene space within. That is the space of consciousness. Your life, body, senses, mind, and every experience is played through that sacred space.”

She concluded, “Your consciousness is the aperture of creation through which it is briefly experiencing itself through you and every living and non-living thing. You are free to exist and do whatever is within the rules of nature, for life has consequences.”

With a flourish of words, she resolved, “That consciousness space is witness to everything you do or don’t do, is aware of every thought that arises within. It is a neutral, safe, sacred space wherein you pray with your heart and feeling. It listens, for it is your eternal source.”

I thought, “That would be a genuine prayer.”

She said, “Yes, it does not need a priest, rituals, or ancient language. It understands your heartfelt words and feelings. Love is the natural language here. It works whether you know this to be real as a believer or an atheist who cannot accept it. Gives you hope and courage to move forward in life.”